Myths and Truths About Addiction with Hailey Hosler - Ben’s Friends, Ep #114

I’m revisiting the original topic of this show today, recovering from addiction, because it’s dry January and because I still think this is one of the most powerful things we can do to improve our lives and attract success. I got to speak with Hailey Hosler, who has an amazing perspective on how to navigate sobriety in the hospitality industry, which is well known to be one of the most challenging spaces to keep mentally healthy and sober.

Hailey Hosler is a veteran in the hospitality industry, working in restaurants, craft cocktail and brewing companies for her whole career. She is also a recovering addict. Now she is a local leader for Ben’s Friends, a community of chefs, bartenders, line cooks, servers, sommeliers, host and hostesses, GMs and owners who have found or are seeking sobriety. Their mission is to offer hope, fellowship and a path forward for those struggling with substance abuse and addiction. At their core, they are hospitality workers who have found connection, and the tools to seek and maintain sobriety while managing their careers and lives in a sane and purposeful way.

You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...

  • How Hailey found herself working in the restaurant and recovery industries (3:31)

  • What her role is with Ben’s Friends and how they’re helping with addiction (6:20)

  • How “spiritual distancing” helps her to maintain in a restaurant or bar setting (10:29)

  • How the accountability practice of Ben’s Friends has been so supportive (16:21)

  • Why worthiness is the ultimate motivation for a getting through addiction (22:37)

  • How the restaurant industry was impacted by the pandemic (27:31)

Why working in hospitality makes it so difficult to be healthy and sober

The restaurant industry is a fabulous place to hide an addiction, Hailey told me. Most other jobs wouldn’t let you hide coming in drunk or high and doing your job well. But the idolizing of legends like Anthony Bourdain and punk rock culture within the restaurant industry glosses over the tragic truth of what the reality is. That is why she is a leader for Ben’s Friends, a nationwide community of hospitality workers seeking recovery support specific to their industry.

The keys to recovery when you are surrounded by substances in your work

Hailey points out that any solid recovery program covers spirituality, community, and good habits. In addition to taking care of your physical health, having a strong spiritual foundation is essential to feeling solid in your sobriety while being surrounded by alcohol or drugs. Hailey calls this creating a “spiritual distance” between you and alcohol. It’s similar to what I call the 5 pillars of sobriety. Without these key health habits in place, sobriety is really hard to maintain.

What Ben’s Friends offers people who want to live clean

Hailey says that the community she has found through Ben’s Friends is the strongest she has ever been a part of. When a member comes to a meeting and is nervous about getting through their bar shift that night, they are flooded with support by the community connecting with them as they work. When Hailey was new to recovery, this was essential to her staying sober while staying in the industry she loved. A new city, a hard breakup, and emotional rollercoasters led her into addiction, but she needed a lot of love and support to stick with recovery. This kind of support allowed her to keep working in the industry she loves while living a sober life.

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Hailey

Connect With Peter O. Estévez

Subscribe to the Peter O. Estévez Show on
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts

Peter EstévezComment